by Pastor Kim DSouza | Aug 27, 2014 | Christian Walk, Leadership
Almost every phone user today has the ubiquitous green and white WhatsApp icon on his home screen. With millions of users worldwide, this instant messaging application offers numerous benefits to its users, and one of which is the Group Chat.
Recently one of my friends created a WhatsApp group with 50 people across the globe who wanted to read Rick Warren’s best selling book Purpose Driven Life together over a period of 40 days and share what they learned with each other on a daily basis. Everyone was encouraged to give input, ask questions and finally see the biblical perspective. He also provided an incentive to those who were able to finish reading the book in that stipulated time!
I thought that was a wonderful way of utilizing the WhatsApp Group Chat function to add value to people’s lives.
However a word of caution: Group chats can be immensely annoying at times. And if you don’t take guard, they can drain you of your precious time and peace of mind. Below I thought of sharing some Dos and Don’ts of WhatsApp (or any other) group chats:
1. Don’t join every group that you are invited or added to
The more generic the group is, the more the possibility of unwanted messages, while the more specific a group is, the more the possibility of quality communication that you can benefit from. For example: Joining a ‘working mother’s’ group is always better than joining the ‘Woman’s’ group. Also before joining a group ask yourself – how will it edify me or what value can I add to others’ life through it.
If you are part of a group that sends teasing comments, lewd jokes or unnecessary forwards, it is better to excuse yourself out rather than allow your ears and eyes to be a place where others can dump their trash. And no, nobody will feel bad about it.
From time to time keep coming back to the motive behind creating the group and check whether you as a group admin or member are in line with it.
2. Do use it to encourage one another and build each other up
Use the group chat to speak life over those you are addressing. Build up rather than tear down. Pray for one another and aim to learn from each other’s successes and mistakes. A couple of good examples: One friend of mine has created a group called ICU (In Christ Unit) where members can share their urgent prayer requests and pray for one another. Another friend has a group called ‘Pastor’s Wives’ where women in the ministry can share and learn from each other’s lives.
3. Do not get personal
Don’t use chat groups as a medium to pass unnecessary comments or nit-pick one another. Of course you are free to disagree, but never disrespect. If there is something that you think may not interest other members of the group or may offend someone, share it in a personal WhatsApp chat rather than your common group.
4. Do use it to make a good habit or break a bad one
There is great power in creating habits and breaking habits when you’re surrounded by like minded people. And that’s what WhatsApp group can help you do. For instance if you are struggling to meditate on the Word of God daily, how about creating a group of people facing a similar struggle and then you can daily encourage one and another to break this cycle.
To quote from the bestselling book The Power of Habit: “There’s something really powerful about groups and shared experiences. People might be skeptical about their ability to change if they’re by themselves, but a group will convince them to suspend disbelief.”
5. Do be patient
Initially whenever a group is formed there will be a lot of pings, but be patient. After the initial excitement fades away, that’s when the conversations will become limited. Remember you are dealing with different people here. There will be some in the group who would frequently try to create conversations, while there will be some others who will be silent observers. If your purpose of creating the group is good, don’t give up, keep investing in it.
6. Do not keep pushing Forwards
Forwards are similar to uninvited advertisements and can be a big turn off in a group chat. Sadly many of us don’t even read the long messages we receive and we are quick to hit the forward button. Freely we receive, freely we give!
Limit your forwards to short inspirational videos and images, which have personally blessed you first. When it comes to plain text, make your stories brief and to the point because not all users in your group may have smart phones with reader friendly screens in which case your message may look like a big scroll of text. And please don’t convince others to “Send the message to 10 people to receive their blessing”.
7. Do not make it your master
Lastly, don’t allow WhatsApp to eat your quiet time with God or even the quality time you spend with your spouse and children. Make an effort to disconnect from WhatsApp during the day and even days together in a week. There are better things in life to do!
What is your experience in dealing with Group Chats? What annoys you the most and how do you handle it?
by Pastor Kim DSouza | Jun 13, 2014 | Christian Walk, Healing & Freedom
(By Pastor Derrick D’souza)
As a child I always used to love hearing my Mom tell me how much she loved me (I was the youngest sibling among five). I used to ask her the same question over and over again until I was confident she was not just saying it to make me happy. My simple question was Mom do you love me? And I normally asked it just after I messed up!
My Mom’s constant response was, “Son, I love you but I do not love the things you do!”
Almost always that response left me dejected and guilt ridden as I hated myself for not living up to the standard of my loving parents. I really do love my parents and oh how I wished I could have obeyed them fully. My sense of anger towards self was more because I did not want my parents to misunderstand my actions and use it as measurement of my love for them. This was primarily because the rest of my siblings were sober and nearly always made Mom and Dad proud. Hence just to make sure, I kept asking the question to see if there was a change in my Mom and Dad’s attitude towards me when I did wrong.
When I became a born again Christian, I began to feel the exact same emotions when I did wrong. The only difference here was that the negative feelings were compounded exponentially considering it was not Mom and Dad I was letting down, but God himself!!
I sought the Holy Spirit on this and He opened my eyes to some of the most beautiful verses in the Bible that has forever put to rest, every feeling of unrest and assured me that God’s love for me is not only more but much much more that I could ever imagine.
I call these “The How Much More Love Verses” . When God says ‘How much more’ you have got to use your imagination to understand what He is trying to say…. Please Meditate very closely on the below scriptures and you will be set free of every feeling of condemnation, guilt and sorrow in your walk with Jesus. I pray you will understand the full extent, God the Father, God the Son and the God the Holy Spirit went through to make sure you never feel unloved, lonely or condemned for a single second of your existence.
by Pastor Kim DSouza | Apr 16, 2014 | Marriage & Parenting
Recently I happened to talk to Pratibha Kinkar, who co-pastors New life Fellowship, Nerul (Navi Mumbai) alongside her husband Pastor Daniel Kinkar. Our discussion revolved around pregnancy and parenting, and in this post, I thought of sharing excerpts from our conversation, which am sure will edify young couples who are looking forward to childbirth and parenting. A mother of 3 young children who are being used by God powerfully in their area of ministry, Pratibha shared with me testimonies of God’s guidance, provision and direction over her family over the years. (It’s a long post, but worth reading every word!)
On the trend of ‘delayed’ pregnancy
I got married at a young age of 25 and within a year of my marriage I conceived. We were going through a tough phase financially but as a couple we never thought of delaying pregnancy due to our finances. We knew that the Word of God calls children as a blessing and we had faith that God would take care of us. And He did!
I feel sad to see young couples delaying pregnancy for years. They first want to ‘settle down’, buy a house or own a car before they can think of starting a family.
I would say if you have got married in your early twenties it may seem ok to wait for some time, otherwise you should not delay pregnancy. Gynecologists suggest that the 6 month period post marriage is an ideal time frame to ‘adjust’ to each other. Also medically as a woman’s age progresses, conception becomes difficult.
As couples, don’t depend on your self-efforts, rather depend on God’s grace for your children. Set an example before the world rather than following the world’s footsteps. In our time we didn’t have the knowledge and revelation of the Word of God as much as the younger generation now with media access has. How much more should you then be depending on God’s Word to sustain you?
On God’s provision
Post marriage we lived off a miniscule monthly income of Rs.1200. The house rent would wipe off half of it, plus the routine expenses were so much that by the end of the month we had no money left. We could not afford to go the doctors and so all my three deliveries were done by my mother at home. But we never depended on our salary to sustain us; our dependence was on our God. We were new believers that time and we didn’t have the knowledge of His Word like we have now, but we knew that the God we served was a living God and as His children we were His responsibility.
We also took a stand to never compromise on God’s principles. We never failed to tithe even once and we also learned to be good givers. There were times when we had little money and we would sense the Holy Spirit asking us to bless someone else with it and we would instantly obey. And this is my testimony – my Jesus took care of every SINGLE need of ours.
I remember one day we didn’t have money to buy milk for our youngest son who was a few months old at that time and he was used to having milk early in the morning when he got up. The previous night me and my husband prayed and believed God for His provision and early in the morning the doorbell rang and we had one brother handover money to us saying that God had told him to do so. I want to encourage you dear reader instead of worrying about your problems, give God a chance to show His faithfulness and you will be amazed at how He works.
We didn’t have the money to buy vitamin supplements, Cerelac boxes or ready-made diapers, but not once we grumbled or complained. Sometimes pregnant women panic so much about taking their dose of calcium and vitamins that they worry if they don’t take it something will happen to the baby. Am not against supplements, but remember your baby in the womb is sustained by the hand of God and not supplements.
When people would bless us with second hand clothes for our children, we would joyfully accept it and bless them. I have seen how first time mothers are so finicky about her children that they feel offended with this. But these are simple things in life that we learned- to be thankful in all things and be good receivers.
Also me and my husband took a stand to never ask people for money. Our trust was not in man but in our heavenly Father and God took care of us beautifully.
Pastor Daniel Kinkar with wife Pratibha Kinkar and children Sharon, Anugrah and Arpit twenty years ago and now.
On enjoying pregnancy
Pregnancy is NOT a sickness and every woman should know this well. Yes, you have to take care of yourself and your baby but don’t make pregnancy as an excuse to gain unnecessary sympathy. ‘Sickness-mentality’ can become a doorway for the devil to attack your mind and body. Remember you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you! Husbands, provide full support to your wives pre and post pregnancy and at the same time do not let your children take your focus off your ministerial calling.
On parents making children their ‘God’
Increasingly I have seen in churches when youngsters get married, they start coming late to the church, and if they get children, then that becomes an additional excuse. I remember when my children were small even though we slept late at night, I used to get up at 5:00 am on Sundays, keep all their things ready and be at church early. Throughout the service when my husband would be busy ministering, I would single-handedly manage my children, with equal focus on the Word that was being taught. We never gave children as an excuse to be late to church or to miss the service. When you lay priority on the Word of God, He takes care of everything else. And when your children see you loving your God like that, they learn to do the same.
On God’s protection over our children
I remember when my daughter was very small, we went to attend the funeral of a girl who was of my daughter’s age. In the coffin, the dress that the dead girl was wearing was similar to what my daughter had. At that moment tremendous fear entered my heart. I would see my daughter in the coffin all the time. When my husband and I would go out for ministry leaving our children alone and I would weep for hours worrying about my daughter’s safety. Then one day God spoke to me. We were on a two wheeler traveling on a deserted and dangerous road, when God opened my spiritual eyes and I could see a huge angel keeping guard over us. God reminded me that He is the one who has brought my children into this world and He will take care of them. And in an instant that fear was gone!
I want to tell you parents, you can in your human efforts safeguard your children only to an extent, but beyond that point you got to entrust them into the hands of your Heavenly Father. As good stewards we need to sow into their lives the principles of the Word of God and the Word of God will never let them fall.
What are your views about this post? Anything you want to add or get clarified? Do drop in your views in the comment section below.
by Pastor Kim DSouza | Apr 2, 2014 | Healing & Freedom
We are excited to have our friend Melanie Philipnery write a guest post on Soargirls this week. Melanie grew up in church from age 5, got saved at 8 and stepped into ministry as a teen. She had two careers before settling for teaching in Adult Education. Melanie is a tenacious intercessor and is longing to see the Church ready for Christ. She makes her home in Montreal, Canada with her husband Richmond and baby Asher. She also serves with Revive Nations.
A number of times I’ve encountered Christians who claimed they were victimized by their haunted past. What they hoped was buried deep and forgotten was in fact relentlessly pursuing them with flashbacks of unwanted memories causing inescapable torments.
Are you haunted by your past?
Many of us have experienced God’s saving grace and can testify to the instant aftermath of uttering the sinner’s prayer. Forgiveness is immediately granted in full measure, hearts liberated and minds enveloped with peace that passes understanding. All this is foreshadow of a staggering truth: there’s power in the blood! The blood of Jesus redeems every sin, curse and bondage and no man is licensed to resurrect what Christ has buried under his blood!
But herein lies the problem. Unfortunately, there are times when people around you, willingly or unknowingly, mention horrid details you longed to forget, and before you know it the past you once thought was permanently left behind is mercilessly excavated.
It is particularly grievous to see brethren question fellow Christians on their past life, not with a desire to hear their testimony but out of ungodly curiosity. The reality of this outcome is that unless the hearer is confident of seeing this believer through the eyes of Jesus, issues and situations from their past will give a highly deceptive and erroneous portrait, causing one to be swayed by a critical and judgmental attitude dictated by their flesh.
The Clean Slate
The mere fact that someone brings back your past does not imply that God wants you to be constantly wrestling regrets from old skeletons in your closet. On the contrary! Not desiring to keep a track record of our transgressions, our Heavenly Father mercifully gifted us a clean slate, choosing to forget our sins, counting them no more. A new creation is what you are! Hebrews 8:12 is a confirmation of God’s unmerited compassion towards us; He declares, “…I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.” (ESV)
The Domino Effect
A common strategy devised by the enemy is to repeatedly torture believers with guilt, shame and memories from wretched sins they have already confessed to Christ. Beware! The adversary desires to see you frozen in your tracks, stagnating, unable to finish the course you once began with excitement. He longs to steal the assurance we have in knowing our sins are forgiven. But the moment we doubt God’s forgiveness, insecurity will creep into our hearts. And with insecurity having paved its way, we lack confidence in prayer. With faithless prayer, we become weak, defeated and easy prey to be devoured by the enemy.
Hebrews 4:16 exhorts us to approach God’s throne with confidence! “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (ESV)
The Need to Move Forward
As much as God is pleased with a repentant heart, He does not want us to dwell on our past, primarily because setting our focus on what we left behind would cost us from making progress in moving forward. Philippians 3:14 encourages us to continue pressing on to obtain the prize.
Focusing on past failures will only give you a distorted perspective on the future.
What is done is done so let it go!
Remember that God can take your past and present and make something beautifully new out of it. The writer of Ecclesiastes must have known this when he wrote, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” (Ecc. 3:11a ESV)
Do you feel your past is lurking in the shadows ready to pounce and tear you apart? Are you haunted by old memories? I encourage you to plead the blood of Jesus over every area in your past. May Christ grant you grace and give you total liberation and victory over every ungodly domain.
Can you relate to this post? To share your thoughts mail us at [email protected]
by Pastor Kim DSouza | Mar 28, 2014 | Christian Walk, Leadership
Dear People Pleaser,
I write this to you out of love and concern.
Time is running out faster than you can imagine, and if you are using bulk of your time trying to please people around you – that’s a sheer waste!
The very purpose you were created was to please your Creator. And it doesn’t matter what people think about you, because it was never about them. Don’t base your life on others’ approval of you for you are not what they say you are; you are what Jesus says you are – valued and accepted!
Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions subdue the whispers of the Holy Spirit. Don’t let their words choke your God-given vision.
Again, don’t live for recognition or man’s empty applause. The more you expect from men, the more you will be disappointed, but the more you expect from God, the more you will be filled. You are weak if you are making flesh your strength (Jeremiah 17:5), instead choose to live by the Spirit.
In your job, in your career, in your ministry, in your church, don’t run to win the favour of ‘Mr. Influence’.
That’s feeble.
Your source is not man, your source is God. And when you seek God’s favour, man’s favour follows suit.
If you are busy pleasing men, you are no longer worthy of Him (Galatians 1:10). Seek His heart, not the platform. Don’t strive to be popular, but day after day, strive to be more passionate about Jesus.
Not how I regard the position of men but whether I truly teach the way of God (Mark 12:14).
Not how many people I am able to please in my audience by what I say, but whether I live for the audience of my Jesus.
Not how many books or songs I am able to sell, but whether my words have power to sustain the weary (Isaiah 50:4).
Not how many friends or likes I have on Facebook, but how am I glorifying Jesus in there.
Not what cool gadget or hand phone I use, but how much have I invested in my inner self.
Do not conform to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:1). Because when you conform, you compromise.
You are not called to fit in the world, but to set yourself apart for God. So… love people unconditionally, but seek to please God and God alone.
Live to be a Jesus pleaser! Today let’s start afresh.
Learning alongside you…
Pastor Kim D’souza
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