Girls, 5 Quick Tips To Guard Yourself On Social Media

Girls, 5 Quick Tips To Guard Yourself On Social Media

September 13, 2020

Girls, 5 Quick Tips To Guard Yourself On Social Media

By Kim D’souza

    By Kim D’souza

Online is the new game and social media has changed the way we do relationships. But as much social media has its benefits, if we allow it to master our hearts, it can cause a lot of damage.
Here are five quick tips, especially for single girls on how they can guard their hearts when it comes to social media:

1. You are who God says you are
The desire to be liked, appreciated and get social validation is normal. However, avoid getting preoccupied with social media so much so that it starts defining your self-worth. People post their best lives on social media and it’s so easy to start comparing and feeling stressed that you are not as cool, smart or popular as they are. But the virtual world is not always real, and the number of likes or follows don’t define you, you are who God says you are – chosen, loved, accepted and brought for a price that is worth His son Jesus.

Know your identity in Christ

2. Be intentional in the way you carry yourself online
The way you project yourself online is the way you allow others to perceive you. Some girls’ social media feeds are flooded with pictures of themselves in thousands of poses. Come on, that’s somebody craving for attention and acceptance. And the people who want to take advantage of that can smell it! Know that your acceptance comes from God, and be rooted in His love (Romans 8:38).

3. Keep it clean baby
Keep your social media accounts ‘clean’ and let there be no room for immorality. As a child of God, strive to uphold His honour. Post content that edifies and encourages people, and points them to Jesus. Also, if you are going to be posting a lot of personal snaps, it makes sense to keep your social media accounts private or accessible to only those you know.

4. Why accept all friend requests?
Hey, you don’t have to be present on every social media platform, follow every Tom Dick and Harry or accept every friend request you get. The numbers shouldn’t matter to you, rather the quality of content you allow your heart to access to (am talking about personal account).
When I follow someone, it also means I give that person access to speak into my life through his/her posts that will now start appearing on my wall. So if my wall is going to be flooded with un-useful or unhealthy information, I choose would rather not accept your friend request! (#dontfeelbad).
In fact from time to time, it is a good practice to unfollow people in your friend list, and instead follow people who inspire you, who you can learn from, who make you run after Jesus.
Another thing – discipline yourself from following or monitoring accounts of your past relationships. Go ahead and unfriend, unfollow or block them, however rude it may seem – lest you open door for your past hurts and dead soul ties to rise again.

5. Cut off
Lastly develop self-control. From time to time cut off from social media completely lest you allow it to become an addiction. Instead make time to build real relationships.

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5 Foundational Keys to a Thriving Marriage

5 Foundational Keys to a Thriving Marriage

March 14, 2019

5 Foundational Keys to a Thriving Marriage

By Derrick D’souza

    By Derrick D’souza

In this post, I want to share with you five things that God has taught me in my marriage that has helped me understand and enjoy this beautiful covenant of love.

1/ Follow the First-Button Policy

Your personal relationship with Jesus will determine your level of joy, happiness, enjoyment and success of your marriage. Jesus needs to be at the Center of it all. My wife and I follow the First Button Policy – You need to put the first button right on your shirt, in order for the other buttons to fall in place. Similarly for everything else – marriage, finances, career, children etc to fall in place, you got to put Jesus first in your life. The Bible says in Matthew 6:33, Seek ye first the kingdom of God and its righteousness and everything else will be added unto you.

We counsel many believers who are going through problems in their marriage. And all we hear is now no one understands me, no one loves me, cannot connect anymore, always arguing, etc the list goes on and on. At the root of all these issues is a lack of receiving love from God and hence one cannot give each other what one has not first received. 1 John 4:19 says, We love because He first loved us.

2/ Don’t focus on changing each other

You get married because you love one another and not because you want to change one another. You are not called to change one another or make each other your personal project of change. You can only love and love, love and love and only loving will bring the change you desire so greatly. One may ask how much should I love and forgive, the Bible says 70 times 7. It means to accept one another with all your positives and negatives and allow only LOVE to lead the way.

The only person you can change is YOU; the others you are called to love. Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God (Ephesians 5:1).

Marriage is a covenant, not a contract.

3/ Die to yourself Marriage is crucifixion, death to self and living for the other. When you have your moments of fights and pride where you cannot agree and you feel like quitting, remember your covenant and the vows you made between God and man. The Bible says in Ephesians 5:28-29,31 He who loves his wife loves himself. After all no one hated his own body but he feeds and cares for it just as Christ does the church. … for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. 4/ Don’t interchange love and respect Husbands are called to love their wives and wives are called to respect their husbands. Never interchange the two. There are many women who are loving their husbands but failing to respect and honor them, and many husbands who are respecting their wives, instead of loving them and laying their life down for them as Christ loves the church. God designed and fashioned men and women differently and if you meet and fulfill these requirements in your spouse according to the wisdom from God’s Word, you will see your partners bloom and flourish like a tree planted by the river.

5/ Your spouse is a gift from God

James 1:16 says, Do not be deceived my brother, every good and perfect gift comes from your Heavenly Father in whom there is no changing like the shifting of sands.

You must remember and learn this promise by heart. This will come very handy, especially when you end up fighting. To give you an example: I had prayed for a wife for many years and God finally bought my darling wife to me. One day emotions ran high, there was misunderstanding and I threw my hands up in the air and ran out of my house. I began to walk and talk to God and l started doing what my great, great, grandfather Adam did and that was to blame my wife, until God had to remind me that she is His gift to me!

All you couples must know what you have in your hand till death do you apart is God’s gift to you and not your reward for being a good person. So cherish each other!

My closing words for the husbands (or to-be) and wives (or to-be) are:

To Husbands, Proverbs 19:14 KJV – Wealth and inheritance come from parents but a prudent wife is from the Lord. Treasure her and love her only with all your heart.

To Wives, Proverbs 31:30 KJV – Charm is deceitful, and beauty is fleeting: but a woman that loveth JESUS is to be praised.

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Shhh….Secret Sins? Your Quickest Way to Breakthrough

Shhh….Secret Sins? Your Quickest Way to Breakthrough

January 22, 2019

Shhh….Secret Sins? Your Quickest Way to Breakthrough

By Kim D’souza

    By Kim D’souza

Jeremiah, our six year old is a very sweet and helpful boy. He does a commendable job of tidying the house when I ask him to. But sometimes when he is not in a mood to help, he smartly shoves things out of place where my eyes cannot catch. So while the house does look clean, it is only matter of time before I find all things falling out from the hidden corners.

Many of us in our Christian life have a similar attitude. There are so many so called believers in the church who are shouting God’s praises from the outside but are hiding their struggles and temptations. They are broken and condemned from the inside and wondering why God’s plans are not working for them. And its only a matter of time before things start falling apart.

But never forget this – What you hide has power over your life.

The devil wants you to conceal things – whether it is lust, pornography, addictions, fears, depressing thoughts etc, and he will bring you reasons like shame, fear, guilt to keep you from exposing it.

John 3:20 says, Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.

When Adam and Eve sinned, the first thing they did was that they hid themselves from the presence of God. But it was God who came searching for them. Similarly when Cain murdered Abel, it was God who initiated a conversation with him, even as Cain tried to hide the facts and act as if nothing has happened.

Hide nothing from God, HE knows it all.

If you are fed up with the way you are living and want a breakthrough in your life, the quickest way to get it is by exposing your struggles to God.

David wrote in Psalm 32:3-5When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me;
 my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” 
And you forgave the guilt of my sin.

David committed the sin of adultery with Bathsheba and schemed the murder of her husband Uriah. And God told him, What you did in secret, you will face the consequences of it in daylight before all Israel (2 Samuel 12:12). But we read in the next verse, David asks for forgiveness and IMMEDIATELY God forgives him!

If you are struggling with ‘secret sins’ and genuinely are hungering for a breakthrough in your life, here is what you can do.

1. Expose your struggles before God. Openly and loudly confess them. You see, the devil is not interested in just playing hide and seek with you. He has only one agenda and that is to knock you out of God’s plan for your life and to completely destroy you and the lives that are connected to you. So run to God, who is merciful, compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. And once you bring your weaknesses under the blood of Jesus, it is covered. Don’t entertain any feelings of guilt or condemnation and don’t look at your past.

2. Share your struggles with a same-sex mentor, pastor or someone who is mature in the Lord, who can pray with you and guide you. The Bible says confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed (James 5:16). This person should be filled with the Holy Spirit and the Word and living a life glorifying Jesus. Also, don’t assume that your pastor or prophet should know what you are going through and offer help. People are not God, instead you make time and reach out to them.

3. Hide God’s Word in your heart: If there is one thing God is asking us to hide, it is not our sins, but His Word. David says in Psalms 119: 11, I have hidden you Word in my heart that I might not sin against thee! God’s Word is light. And this Word will keep us away from sin. Pick up Scriptures that deal with your problem and start meditating upon them. Spend time with God’s Word and let it not depart from your mouth.

4. Run away from small temptations that you think cannot trap you. It is these ”small things” that we think we have control over, that can make us fall in the long run. Stay alert, your enemy, the devil is like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. And above all guard your heart. Also very important, guard your eyes for the eye is the lamp of the body (Matthew 6:22).

5. Don’t cut away from fellowshipping with the people in your church. This is what the devil will want you to do – to run away from God, from men of God and people in the church. Don’t compare yourself to others and thus feel condemned. None of us is perfect, but God has created us to be fellowship beings. The Bible says, And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near (Hebrews 10:25).

Has God spoken to you? Is there anything hidden in your life that is worrying you? Remember the key to your breakthrough is not in hiding but in exposing it.

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Brokenness without Jesus

Brokenness without Jesus

JULY 10, 2018

Brokenness without Jesus

By Kim D’souza

    By Kim D’souza

We often read and quote about Abraham and Sarah in the Bible, but there’s one more important character in their story whom we miss out. The story of the Egyptian slave Hagar in the Bible is a story of brokenness until she encounters the true and living God, “who sees her”. As a young girl, one day Hagar finds herself given away as a slave to an Israelite childless couple. To be known as somebody’s slave is heart-breaking – no matter how rich, kind or God fearing your owners are. You have no freedom of action, no right, no will. And that was the beginning of Hagar’s brokenness. Then one day Sarai, her mistress has an idea. She urges her husband Abram to lie down with Hagar. Suddenly this young beautiful girl finds herself next to a man, probably as old as her father. And she gets broken further. Soon the news is out – Hagar is pregnant. At this point I feel Hagar is fighting mixed emotions. She was broken because after all that she went through, she was still unsure of what the future holds for her and the unborn baby in her womb.
And she was in her moment of ‘success’ because she was able to bring forth what Sarai couldn’t after decades. Genesis 16:4 says When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress.
Brokenness – Jesus = Bitterness

Another version says, when Hagar knew she was going to have a baby, she became proud and treated Sarai hatefully. Here is what I want to draw your attention to. Hagar was broken, but her brokenness was exclusive of God. You see, when Jesus is not a part of your brokenness, it becomes bitterness. Like it happened with Hagar, she became very bitter in her heart against Sarai and this overflowed in her actions towards her. Similarly if Jesus is not a part of your success then there is every danger of pride creeping in. Hagar in her pride, reacted as the world would, and eventually she suffered the consequences of her behaviour. But praise God, in His mercy, He rescued her and gave her a promise that still stands true today. What does it mean? No matter what season of life you are going through, invite Jesus into it. Cast your brokenness upon Jesus because He cares for you, like no one else. Share your heart to Him and allow His Word to seep through every crevice of pain and crack within you. And you will find that His grace will be sufficient for you. The Bible says that He is yet to deny a broken and a contrite heart.
Similarly yield your so called success to him. Always walk in humility and thankfulness and God will give you more grace, for He exalts those who are humble.
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